This I Believe

Lily Sherman - Prozdor Grade 8

Ever since my Saba (grandfather) died, I have wondered what my last words to him were. I cannot remember the words I left my beloved Saba with. The man who took care of me when I was sick, played with me whenever I wanted, spoiled me rotten, and gave me unconditional love. The loving man, was one of my favorite people, and still is but now only in memory. He would go to school plays and dance recitals, all the little class things he could make it to, but unfortunately he will not make it to my high school or college graduations physically. But he will be there with me inside my head his memory always with me. I am daily reminded of him through my actions, I now I try not to say goodnight or goodbye to a loved one without adding on an “I love you”. This action is because of what I might not have done in the past.

The fear of uncertainty, of what my last words to him were, haunts me frequently. I ponder the last conversation I had with him trying to remember the last time we saw each other or spoke, hoping to find intertwined in the conversation myself saying, “I love you.” I hope that I told him I loved him the last time I saw him, I would have said it a million times over if I had known it would be my last chance. If I didn’t tell him how much I loved him that last time, than I hope he knew in his heart how much I do.

In an effort to make sure that all my loved ones know how I feel, I try not to end a visit, conversation, or phone call without saying the powerful words, “I love you”. Sometimes it just slips my mind to utter, “I love you” simply because you always expect there to be a next time with that person. But sometimes I have to consciously think that when I say goodbye to someone that it may be the last time I speak to them. But like I now know, saying goodbye at the end of a conversation, can really be saying goodbye forever. Which is why I believe in never ending a conversation with a loved one without saying “I love you” because we all want the people we love to know that, and we all want them to die knowing that we love them.